


Interludes - Listen to the Music

by Thaylepo



Series: Lucky Number [2]
Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: random oneshots, see the individual chapter summaries for more details
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 20:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7985224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thaylepo/pseuds/Thaylepo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short fics and oneshots that occur alongside the Lucky Number series.</p><p>Now playing: Cassie gives a morphing lesson</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interludes - Listen to the Music

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone remembers the last time there was a new Animorph, and no one wants to talk about it. Someone's got to pull their big-kid pants up and as usual, it's Cassie.
> 
> Rated for filthy filthy swearwords

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little something from Cassie's point of view because her narrative voice was always one of my favourites. And to give a bit more of a sense of Kendrea before we jump into the next multi-chapter part of the series.
> 
> Occurs literally right after [_Lucky Number_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3923626/chapters/8786290)

My name is Cassie.

I'm pretty good at reading people. I could tell, for instance, that Jake hadn't gotten any sleep last night even though he was trying to hide it. I could tell that Rachel was still sore about the revote and was going to avoid speaking to our newest member for as long as possible. And I could tell that Marco, even as he bantered with Rachel and flirted with Kendrea and joked around with Jake, was still struggling with the part of himself that said _'never trust, never let your guard down'_.

I could tell that Ax had no intention of letting the blue box out of his sight for some time. I'd have to quietly suggest to Jake later that he let Ax keep it for now. It would make him feel better.

Tobias was Tobias. Honestly, he seemed the least affected by all this.

And Kendrea? She just looked excited. Like it was the first day of vacation. Like life had just changed in a fantastic, unexpected way.

God, she had no idea.

Jake interrupted our little congratulatory huddle. "Cassie, when are your parents getting home?"

My family runs the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center in our barn. We pick up injured animals from all over the area and care for them until they can be released. Right now we had a pretty heavy load, and the first thing my dad would do when he got home was come in to check on them all.

And while it wasn't odd that my friends would come to hang out in the barn with me, a big blue Andalite and a girl changing into an animal might look a little out of place.

My parents are not Controllers. They don't have Yeerk slugs in their brains, wearing them like puppets and controlling everything they do. But still, it was safer that they didn't know what I get up to in my spare time.

"A couple hours," I told Jake. "You guys should get going."

"Get going?" Kendrea echoed, confused.

"Cassie's going to give you a one-on-morphing lesson," Jake explained. "So we're uh... not going to watch." He cleared his throat awkwardly.

She looked even more confused. And nervous, though she was trying pretty hard to hide it. I took pity on her.

"Morphing is DNA based, and while you can morph clothing with some practice..." I bit my lip and grimaced. "It takes a few tries to get it right."

"So I hope you're not wearing anything you don't want exploded or shredded," Marco added helpfully.

Understanding dawned. "Ohh."

"Yep. So it'll be just us girls for now."

"Not me." Rachel swung herself off her hay bale and picked up her bag from the floor. "I have better things to do. See you later, Cassie."

She power-walked out of the barn and let the door slam behind her.

Marco whistled. "Xena's in a mood today."

Jake sighed. He ran his hands through his hair like he did when he didn't want anyone to see him squeeze his eyes shut in frustration. "Don't worry about it," he said, and I knew he was going to worry about it all day. "Let's get going, Marco. Good luck you guys."

<You'll do great,> Tobias reassured her. <Cassie's the best morpher we've got, including Ax.>

Ax said demurely, <We may have invented the technology, but not every Andalite has the aptitude for it.> There was only the barest hint of defensiveness, because of course he was talking to Tobias.

<Didn't mean to suggest it, Ax-man.>

Ax morphed and flew off, clutching the box in his harrier talons. Jake nodded goodbye to us, and Marco threw Kendrea a wink over his shoulder, like he was the showboy in a movie or something.

We were alone, and Kendrea turned to me with a smile that was probably supposed to look confident and friendly. It was a little shaky.

"So. I get a morphing lesson."

I nodded. "We figured it would be less scary than trying to figuring it out by yourself. It was pretty scary for us." I gestured to the cages behind me, full of mostly small furry creatures and a few birds. "Go on, pick whatever you like. I've morphed most of these species already, so I can tell you what to expect."

Kendrea squatted down in front of the cages, tucking her long brown hair back from her face. I wanted to ask about her, where she was from, what her favourite movie was, what kind of things she liked to do. But I didn't want to distract her.

The rest of us had known each other before we became Animorphs, some of us not that well but we'd still known each other. Kendrea was this big blank hole. Like David had been.

Maybe David had been rotten from the start. He hadn't been a nice person, at least to hear Marco tell it. Or maybe everything we'd pushed on him made him snap. Maybe we'd made him snap. We'd tried to be kind to him, but maybe...

Maybe after all the fighting and killing, we just weren't that good at being kind anymore.

Kendrea pointed at a red fox. "That one," she breathed eagerly. "I want to be that one."

I grinned. "That's one I've actually never tried. But I think it's a good choice."

"What do I do?"

I opened the cage. The fox was drugged up on painkillers with a shattered leg, so she wasn't going anywhere. She still watched us with beady little eyes and gave sort of a slurred, drooly snarl when I picked her up and cradled her securely in my arms.

"Put your hand on her, anywhere," I instructed. "And just think about her. Think about her fur, the shape of her, how her ears and eyes move and how her body works. When she goes into a trance, then you've acquired her DNA."

Kendrea pressed her slender brown hand into the ruff of fur on the fox's neck. The animal stilled almost right away, and even though she was already blurry from painkillers it was obvious when the acquiring trance took over. She went still like a statue.

"Wow. That's weird."

"It's totally normal. That was really well done." I tucked the fox back in her cage and latched the door again. "Now the hard part. Tobias, please wait outside until she's done?"

<Gotcha.> A few flaps and he was out of the loft.

"He'll keep watch for anyone coming," I told Kendrea. I set the timer on my watch. "Now, to morph you just do what you did before, but this time think about _changing into_ the fox. You might have to focus really—"

_Sppppppllllrrrt!_

Reddish brown fur erupted all over her face and a bony hairless tail shot right out through the back of her jeans before it exploded with bristly floof. Kendrea yelped.

"Ahhh! Holy shit!"

"It's okay, it's okay!" I reassured her. "That's totally fine! You're doing good!"

"I forgot about the clothes, shit!"

I tried so hard not to laugh that I felt bad. "I'll lend you some to go home in. Just keep going, it's okay. Maybe concentrate on shrinking?"

That may or may not work. I've been able to control my morphs by thinking about the specific changes I wanted, but according to Ax I have a talent for morphing that's rare even among Andalites. Not to brag or anything.

She took a deep breath, calming herself, and resumed. She started shrinking in her clothes, more red fur combing over her visible skin. Hands and feet narrowed into little black paws before they disappeared into her clothing. The whole thing took about two minutes, a pretty good time for a first morph.

The last thing to appear was the fox's snout. Until almost the end, she was a tiny furry human-faced creature with big ears and long brown hair. It was amazingly cute.

<Oh. Oh my god. It _stinks_ in here, holy crap! It's _fantastic!_ >

I've morphed enough animals to know that most of them have a pretty amazing sense of smell. I grinned. "Okay Tobias," I called. "You can come back in."

<Like I wanna be in there with a fox loose.> Nonetheless, he swooped back in and settled back in the rafters.

<I'm not loose. I'm stuck. Oh man. Oh man, I can seriously smell everything. Is there a horse in here somewhere? Ugh, when did I last wash this shirt?>

Kendrea started to circle inside the pile of clothing, clever little fox face sticking out from the neck of her t-shirt. I knelt down and helped untangle her from her clothes before the fox brain could panic.

"How are you doing?" I asked, easing her tail out of the hole in her jeans and underwear.

<I'm good. I'm totally good. Just lemme.... ergh.> She wiggled out of the shirt herself and spent about thirty seconds rolling around trying to free herself from her bra.

Tobias cackled. <Oh man. That's hilarious. I wish we could film this.>

I completely agreed. It was reminding me of the first few times I tried morphing, before the wonder of it was eclipsed by wondering how I would use each animal to fight with. There are still little moments like this sometimes, where you have time to appreciate the morphing power as a gift and not a burden.

Kendrea was sniffing around on the barn floor. <This is so awesome. I'm a fox! I'm...> Her beady little eyes peered up at Tobias in the rafters. <I'm _hungry_. >

<Don't even think it.>

She jumped up on a stack of hay bales. Put her paws up on the pillar next to it. <I could get up there. I could totally get up there and eat you.>

<Try it. I dare you.> Tobias flexed his talons.

"Guys," I chided. "Kendrea, how do you feel? Do you have control of the fox?"

<I guess? I think so. I can move around and smell things and... Oh my god. Oh my _god_ I want to eat that duck. >

She went from snuffling around to laser-focused in an instant. The animals in their cages had started getting uneasy about there being a fox loose in here with them, and the duck in question beat its wings against the cage in challenge. She looked at it like it was a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

<Oh man, I am _starving_. I'm so gonna eat it. Here ducky ducky, > she cackled, crouching down on her front paws.

"Ooookay!" I quickly got in the way of her spring. She startled and back-pedalled right off the hay bale. "Let's just take a minute here. Kendrea, you don't want to eat the duck. The fox does. You have to get control of its mind, its instincts. Just focus and push them to the back of your mind."

There were several second of silence, until her fox morph uncoiled and sat up like a dog.

<Oh. Wow. Holy crap, that was weird.>

"Yeah. It is. But it gets easier."

<I still wanna eat the duck. I'm not going to, but.... This is so weird. I _am_ the fox. I want what it wants. But I'm also still me. How does this even work? >

"I don't know. Not even Ax knows enough about the science to explain it."

<It works on bullshit magic,> Tobias suggested helpfully.

<Hah!> She laughed, looking up again. <Hi. Tobias, right? I'm sorry I said I wanted to eat you. I don't. Well, I do. But I won't.>

<Thanks. I appreciate it.>

Carefully, I sat down next to Kendrea. "You feel okay now?"

<Yeah. I'm good. It's still here but... I can tell what's me and what's the fox now. I think.>

"Take a while to get a feel for it. Let it be a part of you." I looked at my watch. "You've got lots of time before the two hours are up."

<What happens after two hours? I automatically turn back or something?>

"Um, no," I said. "You get stuck permanently in the animal's body."

Kendrea froze. Even on her fox face, I could see horror.

<Are you _serious?!_ >

<Very serious,> Tobias murmured.

I waited, wondering if she would realize it without us having to tell her. Realize that she hadn't seen Tobias as anything but a hawk. If it would sink in that the power comes with a price.

<You...> Kendrea started to say. She crouched down and put her head in her paws, as though the fox's mind was reacting to her emotions. <You?> she tried again.

<Me,> Tobias confirmed.

<Oh my god. I'm... I'm so sorry.>

<It's cool,> he preened a wing. <I didn't choose the hawk life, the hawk life chose me.>

I snorted before I could stop myself. "Oh my god, Tobias."

<Heh.>

It had the right effect though. Kendrea relaxed by a few inches. <Okay. So two hours. Understood. What else should I know? I'm not going to start craving live duck in my human body, am I?>

"Oh. God, no. At least I don't think so. Some things might remind you of being in morph though. Like," I shrugged and searched for an example. "Every time I go swimming, I get the urge to be a dolphin. They're a lot of fun."

She sniffed around for a while longer. Eyed the duck for a few more minutes, practicing keeping the fox brain under control. Or at least, I hoped.

Finally she padded over to her pile of clothes and curled up in it. <I can smell myself on these. It's so weird. I didn't know I had a smell. I don't even know how I know it's me.> She yawned. Looked at me. <Can I ask something?>

"Of course. Anything."

<The others aren't on board with me, are they? At least, Rachel isn't.>

I grimaced. "Rachel... might take a while to warm up to you. We all might. It isn't you, you need to understand that. It's just..." I held my breath, readying myself. "We only used the box once before. On a boy named David."

All of Kendrea's fox senses were focused on me. <Did he die?> she asked quietly.

I blinked. I actually hadn't expected that question. Maybe that was the obvious thing to assume, since David clearly wasn't around anymore. "Um. No. At least I... I don't think so." I looked up at Tobias, who stayed silent and kept preening. Jerk.

"David was..." I took a deep breath. "Troubled," I decided.

<He was an asshole, wasn't he.>

"What? Oh geez. Yeah, a little?" I rubbed a hand down my face. "No, it was worse. So much worse. He was... just a kid, like us. But he found the box by accident, and the Yeerks found him. We saved him, but they took his family. He never saw them again."

She didn't say anything right away, and I wondered if she was wondering how close she might have come to the same fate, if things had been just a little different. David found the box, but he'd tried to sell it on the internet. That's how the Yeerks had found him.

Kendrea had hid the box in her freezer instead. But who knows what she might have done with it eventually, if she hadn't accidentally seen Ax the same day. We might never have learned she had it. She might have made the same mistake, and the Yeerks would have taken her _and_ the morphing cube and we'd never have known.

Sometimes I wonder how much of our lives is really a coincidence.

<That sucks,> she finally said. <What did he do?>

"Well, we decided to give him the morphing power. Let him fight to free his family. But instead..."

<Instead,> Tobias finally spoke up, <he decided to try and kill us, steal the box, and become some sort of crime-boss-slash-comic-book-super-villain.>

<.... Are you fucking serious.>

I winced at her language. Hey, my parents raised me to be polite.

"Yes. And when that didn't work, he threatened to tell the Yeerks who we were unless we gave it to him. We couldn't do that, so..."

I faltered. I knew keeping what we'd done to David a secret from our new member would be worse in the long run, but just out and saying it felt.... manipulative. Like, _'fall in line or this is what'll happen to you'_.

And what we'd done.... I wasn't proud of it. None of us were proud of it. It was something I think we'd all rather never have thought about again.

I felt a little fox paw touch my leg. <Hey,> Kendrea said. <Look, it's okay. Whatever you did, you did it to protect yourselves. Right?>

I smiled. It probably didn't look convincing. "We tricked him into morphing a rat. And then we trapped him in a cage too small to demorph in. For longer than two hours," I clarified.

The paw retracted. <Wow.>

"Yeah."

<You could have killed him though.>

"Yeah." I let out the air I'd been holding in. "Maybe that might have been kinder. But we didn't, and now he's a rat and we left him on a rock way out at sea so he couldn't tell anyone about us."

<Sounds like justice to me.>

"Is it?" I asked her softly. "I've heard people say that little island is haunted now. That if you get close enough, you can hear screaming."

<Cassie,> Tobias said gently. Privately. <You don't have to say anymore.>

"I'm sorry, I just..." I tried to laugh. "Geez, sorry. I haven't talked about this in... since then. It was just bad. Really bad."

Kendrea said, <I think I'm gonna... 'demorph' now.>

"Okay. Um. Let me know if you need help."

She didn't. At least, she didn't say if she did. Tobias flew back outside to give her some privacy, and I heard her make a few sounds in surprise while she demorphed. A morph never quite goes the same twice, no matter how many times you do it.

After a minute of clothes rustling, she sat down down beside me on the floor in her t-shirt. I quickly wiped my face on my sleeve, but before I could say anything she pulled me into a hug.

I tensed. I'm not proud of that. I don't know when a hug from someone who wasn't my parents or any of the other Animorphs became something that startled me. But I hugged her back before she could pull away, because I wanted her to know I was there to comfort her too when she needed it.

And she was going to need it. Just like I did.

"Thanks," I laughed hoarsely. My face was hot. "Sorry. I didn't mean to turn into a crybaby."

"You're not."

She said it so bluntly. She said most things bluntly, I noticed. Like she didn't feel she had to explain herself. She was sitting on the dirty floor of a barn in nothing but a t-shirt and underwear, hugging someone she'd only just met and she didn't feel the need to explain any of it, to me or herself. I wondered what that was like, to be so confident.

I wondered if that confidence made her more trustworthy, or less.

I wished I didn't have to wonder about these things.

She let go of me and gave me a minute to compose myself. And maybe it was too soon to tell for sure, but I thought I liked her. I liked that she'd hugged me without thinking. I liked that it had felt kind instead of forced. I thought that if I'd met her before any of this, before the war and the horrible everything that came with it, it might have been easy to be friends with her.

But the thing with war is, you can never tell how it's going to change people. It turned Jake into a depressed insomniac who questioned everything he did, and Marco into a ruthless tactical genius. It turned Rachel into a bloodthirsty adrenaline junkie, and Tobias into a bird with a human soul. It isolated Ax from his people, maybe for good.

It turned David into an orphan, and a traitor.

It turned me into a killer, when all I ever wanted to do was help animals heal.

Kendrea smiled at me awkwardly. "So... what's next?"

I laughed. It was embarrassingly bubbly. "Um. You should practice morphing the fox again a few times. To get familiar with it. Then if we have time, we can practice with clothing."

She gave me a pat on the back. "Sounds great."

Tobias stayed outside for the rest of the lesson. He warned us when my parents were coming up the lane to our farmhouse, so Kendrea could get her clothes on. The rip in her pants was actually pretty small, her t-shirt covered it easily. We laughed about it, and when my dad came in to tend to the animals I introduced her as a new friend from school and she helped him give the injured fox her meds.

Dad invited her to stay for dinner. She glanced at me before ducking out, but I could tell she was tempted. I guess we weren't at the dinner-with-parents stage of friendship yet.

She hugged me again before she left. "Can't wait till the next lesson," she winked, before heading off down the lane on foot to catch a bus.

Tobias followed her home. With only one morph and very little experience, she was still the most vulnerable of us. I did like her though. And that made me feel even worse.

Because later I would be be going behind her back and telling Jake about everything I'd observed today, every thought I'd had about her, every sense I'd gotten from her. Because we needed to know everything we could, just in case, and Jake knows I'm the best at that.

I'm good at reading people. I can tell sometimes what they're thinking, what they're feeling. Sometimes I almost know what they might decide to do before they do it. I've always been empathic, but now it's something I can't help doing all the time, with everyone I meet.

Especially my friends. I need to know when one of us is on the verge of breaking, so I can stop it from happening. Hold back the tide for another day and another fight so that maybe, just maybe, we can survive long enough to save the world.

It's what this war has done to me.

We'd have to wait and see what it would do to Kendrea.

 


End file.
